Here and Gone Tomorrow

I have been actually really busy for the past few days. One of the brothers was sent home a few days ago so they asked me to fill in for him till they could find a replacement. I didn't mind all too much it wasn't as if I was taking his job he made a stupid mistake and gave it up. His Bad...!! Well suffice to say that has since changed yet again and now I am back on second shift till I go home probably which is actually only 3 and a half weeks. Man my 90 days in Iraq is almost over and then a new chapter will begin once more when I return. I have learned a great deal and look forward to my time here till the very last day. I havae met some very interesting people and have gotten along with most of them. Few of them I would call friends in the states, but here I call them brothers. Becasue thats what they are and they are millions of people could care less about their family, but they still tolerate then and do the right thing most of the time. I can only imagine what the next 90 days will be like, at least I have an idea of what to look for when I return. Listen to me I sound as if Im leaving tomorrow. I will try to get some pictures up as soon as I can the photo program hasn't been working the last few times I tried.

Till then Hasta manana.

K

Party Over Here...

The head manager for the project has been here in Baghdad for the past 2 weeks give or take and he decided to put a team building yesterday. So all the employee's got together with the exception of a few, that arrived here today. In all we had about 50 people give or take and it wasn't to bad to be honest. I ended up callin it quits at about 9:30, but they carried on til 2am or so I am told. They started off by making some frozen drinks or actually really cold drink, because they couldn't freeze to well with all the alcohol and what not. Then they started in with the BBQ and a couple of Iraqi dishes. One was a big fish the size of a serving plate like the one you use for the turkey during Christmas or Thanks Giving only bigger. Then there was this lamb dish with 2 different kinds of rice and the rice had a very unusual, but good, taste that I couldn't really identify. I thought maybe it was cinnamon, but was told later that it was nutmeg. Well after the speeches from the managers and the constant country, they distributed Iraqi dinars (money) to everyone for a Texas Hold'em Poker tournament. I don't really care for cards, nor am I really any good, but since it wasn't our money I went along with it. I didn't last too long maybe 5 or 6 hands before I was out of money. I ended up winning one had on a fluke and didn't even know it, but hey it was all in good fun. So after that I was pretty much done and I'm not too big on drinking like some of my brethren are. I went to my room laid it down and watched a lil tv before heading into dream land. I could hear them every once in a while and in seems like they enjoyed themselves. The winner of the poker game received 250 bucks, 100 for second and 50 for third. We took a group picture that I will try to post in the next couple of days. Well thats it in a nutshell, holla at ya tomorrow.

K3

What It Is, what It Ain't

I have to say that some don't, wont and can't understand what I am going through (some aren't willing). I can't say I blame you I wouldn't want you to understand even if you could, because the only way for you to understand is to be here and I wish that for no one not even my enemy's (not that I have any). I was fully prepared for what was ahead as far as the physical, being shot at, dodging mortar fire (not really possible, but hopeful) and the possibility of death just so that I can make things easier for myself and my family finacially. I have always been a dreamer and lived in a realm outside reality, because I am a firm believer that reality is what you make it. I have been constantly told that my way of thinking isn't normal or even sane, but I stand by them regardless. Dreams at some point in my life are all that I have had. Some times the thought of being some where ten years from now was the only good thing I had going for me. I will continue to dream, but you best believe that what I dream is more real than anything else this world has to offer.

I wasn't however (Rant over) prepared mentally for what I would have to deal with. The stresses of rules and regulations in a lawless land, conflict of interest, emotional separation and 7000+ miles. One thing that I didn't focus enough on was the fact that all the problems I had when I was home are still there, just not right in front on me. I guess the point is that I am trying to make is that I have been asking for help the wrong way. I have been overloaded mentally and emotionally with baggage as a result of being here and that makes it harder to cope. I just automatically thought that since I have a supportive family that loves me that they would do what was necessary to help me through this troubled time. Not taking into consideration that it isn't a requirement nor a obligation that relief be given (with the exception of Mrs Dubs sorry, but its your job I need that rib of mine), but a selfless sacrifice that may be hard for some to swallow considering they didn't want me hear to begin with. Take nothing I say here as a jab or a personal grudge toward you I am only doing the one thing I do best in this world expressing myself with the GOD given talent of Emotion.

Know this that I will always love all that I meet and know, and how I feel isn't a reflection of what you have or have not done for me it is an expression of how I feel. Take into consideration my situation and ask yourself what would I want from so and so if I were in his shoes and make it applicable if you wish. I will not dwell on the need for support any longer I think that I have made that very clear. If not email me personally , but I will no longer let my weakness be just that a weakness. My grampa said to me the other day that everyone in the world is here for themselves (for the most part) and its time you do the same. I can't really say that I have KNOWINGLY done things just for myself. This journey is probably one of them, and I'm sure I could find more if I think hard enough, but I have always based my decisions on a multitude of factors rather than just making up MY MIND. I WILL make it out of here alive, and I WILL make good on everything I have dreamed of. I will not be held down any longer by anything or anyone including myself, ESPECIALLY myself.

Love Always and thank you all for all that you have done.

K3 4LIFE

A City In Waste

The other day I got a real taste of reality for what life in IRAQ is. We went to a small living establishment within the BIAP area (Baghdad international AirPort). It was a really rundown area with cookie cutter houses and fences made out of tin and bamboo. The problem wasn't the houses and how run down they were or that the slightest wind could knock down their fence that really bothered me. It was the fact that they let their children play in the street without supervision. When we left the area there was a little boy (he was so cute) that was on a tricycle right on the corner of the yard just inches away from the street. I will say this though the children looked very happy in this area, but it doesn't take much for a child to be happy. A little love and an imagination goes a long way with kids(hint hint)... I am thankful for the chance to see what I have seen, but it has had its price. Although I have gained much I have lost just as well. Its is a funny thing what a life experience can do to a person if they are willing to except the consequences.

I am...

K

Another Disappointment

Something happened before I left to come over here, but I stand by my actions as well as what I said. My father and I had a falling out and every time we got on the phone he ends up hangin up. I have probably grown the most in my adult life in the past 5 years give or take a year. And one thing is for certain I don't have time to play the "guess what I'm thinking" game. Most men have had this problem with woman, at least I know I have. Well it happens to be something that my father likes to play as well. I have a deep appreciation for details and elaboration. I tell people to tell it to me like I'm dumb. One if you explain it in a respectful way, but are very detailed then you leave little room for misunderstanding. Well my disappointment is actually a continuance of some time now where I have lost the belief that my father is a superman. Which is fine because you begin to look at him as a man and not someone with super powers or that can do anything. I have grown past my childlike admiration for him and see him for what he is a man with flaws. Everybody has them, but the measure of a man is determined by the (IMHO) ability to correct and modify those flaws and admit weakness when it shows. I am never to proud for anything anymore and if I need something I will ask. The then becomes when people tell you to open up or tell me what's wrong they tend to ignore what you are saying. To every man that may read this foolish pride resides in all creatures, male and female you ability to see that and overcome it is what makes you a better person not the lack there of. I'm not to proud to ask, but I will not do it continue to do it while it falls on deaf ears. Be aware of your mistakes and you will make less of them. I have come to the thought that everyone should wake up and say what did I do wrong today and how can I make it right. Anyway rant over to make a long story short I have been in IRAQ the deadliest place on earth for 9 weeks and I have yet to hear from my father.

To My Most Dedicated Loved One

I have to admit that I have been in somewhat of a funk and besides not having much to talk about I really haven't had the desire. The place is very draining emotionally and even physically. I have become use to hearing the frequent bombs and explosions and no longer wonder if they are going to land on top of us. I can feel a difference in my mental state and unfortunately it isn't for the better. I can feel that I am losing my grip on whatever good qualities I still possess. Part of that is because I am dealing with this on my own, I'm not getting the support I need so it rests all on my shoulders. I have been here before and it wasn't pretty from what I can recall. A complete shutdown emotionally and a large gaping hole with a desire for fulfillment. I have only one constant that I can depend on from day to day well actually 2. I can depend on disappointment that my cries for assistance go unanswered, but on a positive note I can depend on my grandmother (Boop) to be there to talk to me everyday without question. To think that this person has given so much of themselves only to continue to give on a daily basis is utterly amazing. If I or anyone for that matter had half her dedication life itself would be a breeze.

I love you Grandma Boop (and u 2 Grampa D1)
You Son to the Second degree

K

GOD Bless to all

Nothing...

Nothing...

Im well

All is well

Im Safe (goin crazy, but safe)

Buh Bye

K

Today And Til The End Of Time

Hello all you lovely people I would like to update you on a little something I did today. I purchased the rights to a website for future use. So with out further procrastination I present to you WadeFamilyTree.com . Now so there is no confusion as to what this site is for and why I will attempt to explain. We (The Wades) have always spoken about keeping a written record of our family history and here is our chance. Since I have an abundance of time on my hands I will do the major upkeep and updating. But what I do need is for all of you to send me the updated information so that I can update the site accordingly. That means stories, pictures, birthdates, likes and dislikes, the whole nine. I would like to have the site up and running within a matter of weeks at least with some basic information. I thought it also a good idea to use this site for updates as far as vacation plans and family outings. Please email me and let me know what you think. I will see about getting everyone their very own email address via the website. That's pretty much it for today nothing new really going on.

Talk to you later.

K3

2 Months Ago Today

It was December 16 when I left Dallas for DC. That was as the title says 2 months ago today. Today Wednesday the 16th also makes 8 weeks since I have been in Iraq. I can remember the day I received the call for the offer to come here. I believe it was September the 21st. I pretty much knew in my hearth that I wanted to go and so did Mrs. Dubs. Both myself and my wife kid ourselves by asking the other if we have a problem with this or that, even though we both know we don't want to keep each other from doing what we want. I think more than anything it is a mutual respect that we have. I wouldn't have came here if E told me she didn't want me to go, but I don't think she would have told me no matter how she might have felt. I can respect that and as I said before she is a better person than me, because some times I left my own selfish motives interfere with what she may want at times. I have a deep admiration for the strength that she posses and in some way rely very heavily on that strength. I want some times for her to rely on me, but the truth of it is she doesn't need to.

Here's to you Mrs. Dubs

Here's to you Fam.

Love Always Ill be home before you know it.

K3

Happy Valentine's Day

Well I was trying to post a picture this evening, but it hasn't been acting right. So Happy Love Day (IE Valentine's Day). I am fully aware that Valentine's Day is just the Mans continued effort to get us good hard working people to spend our dollars on the businesses that they own. Oh well I'm a fool for love what can I say and Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. Well actually they are all my favorite, but this holiday is one (IMHO) of great intimacy between ones mate. And unfortunately Since I have been married I haven't had the pleasure of spending one single Valentine's with my wife. Every single time I have been away on work well next year (GOD willing) I will spend my first valentine's with what will be my wife of 3 and a half years...

WOW who would of thunk it.

Not I nor Mrs. Dubs for that matter (assumption). But all in all if it were not for my greatest love in this world (Mrs. Dub) and along with a few others here and there I wouldn't be the man I am today, nor would I have been to the places I have been, or even met my wife for that matter. I would like to thank to men that unbeknownst to them have have the greatest impact on my adult life as far as manhood goes. They are My uncle FL C-man (Mr. CINI) and my uncle DT. I can not express enough how you two are an inspiration to my daily walk and I owe you more than you can ever know. From one man to another I love you. To the great woman of my life (other than my lovely wife) you know who you are and I love you all. Take care and have a Happy Valentine's Day.

Love Always
KJPRW III (he he)

A Day to Remember....

I would like to take the time to tell you even though I am for the most part safe. I am privy to information and events that most people don't care to know. This has brought about a rationalization that I would like to express to the utmost. DO NOT TAKE UNNECESSARY RISK...!! Don't go ten miles over the speed limit just so that you can get to work on time. By no means put yourself at risk any more than the world has already put upon this world. I would hate to come from this time in my life unharmed (GOD WILLING) to find one of my loved ones not with us anymore (GOD FORBID), because of a silly accident that could have been prevented. Don't do your makeup in the car or talk on the cell phone the entire time of the trip. I know it has been common place to do these things and to multi-task, but concentrate on what is important and don't take unnecessary risk.

GOD has taught me very valuable lessons in my time here that I don't think I would have been able to appreciate if I wasn't here. How many times have you or someone you know been in a car accident and lived to tell it. And you or they said to themselves I will never speed again. I know I have with just close calls so I know someone that reads this has been through something worse and said the same, but haven't followed up with what they said. I'm here to tell you that you live and breath only because the almighty says you can. Please don't take that for granted.

Being here has been the biggest experience in my life and it has made me appreciate things so much. I would like to continue to appreciate all of my friends and loved ones as well. With that off my chest and I only have one request. Go slower take your time the world isn't going to end based on how fast or how quick YOU or I can be.

TIME is but a measurement by which we follow
Endless in its bounty we aim to conquer
Knowing it can never be over taken or out done
With knowledge in hand it does nothing for the desire
Running against the wind, thoughts of victory
Flying over the the clouds to the ends of the Earth
Always thinking I can do better, go further
The result always the same
Time WILL catch up with you
So use it wisely and enjoy it while it last
Don't compete with something that is out of our league
You will be destined for failure every TIME.

Be safe and be prayerful loved ones,
K

Down, But Not Out of Sight

We have a scheduled maintenance in less than a about a hour and I will lose all contact with the outside world. Nothing is wrong they are just updating the satellites in New York so we will lose our international calling as well as our internet. I will update you once it is back up.

Much Love
K3

The Temperature Is Dropping... Burrr

It is at this very minute 44 degrees outside. Now I really want to see a show of hands that didn't realize that it gets that cold in Baghdad IRAQ. I know I sure didn't expect it, but its here and I'm here freezin my toes off. I have been listening to this album here lately that has had me in a trance and it has put me to sleep the last 2 nights. Since I have been on this shift I haven't had a problem sleeping, nor have I had a problem getting up in time for work.

I talked to one of our guys in the IZ (international Zone IE Green Zone or whatever they call it on the news). He told me that every Thursday they have a few parties in the main palace. There are a lot of State Department workers from DC and all over working here as well. You would be surprised the amount of people and their various backgrounds and age groups. I saw a guy today that looked like one of my Gramps old roofing buddies. I mean Santa Clause with a biker jacket pure white hair and a full beard (he he). Not tryin to say you are old or anything Gramps, just an observation of relativity. I see some people here that look like they can barely walk on some days then I see some of the young men and women in the Army that look to young to even shave. I mean these girls and boys look like kids to me and I'm not that old. I pray for those the most, because they still have their lives a head of them and for the most part haven't experienced what this world has to offer, not much but there are some good things. Well I'm rambling so I'll leave you with this

A dream takes shape, but with no beginning
I awake to the blur of a new morning
A day begins, but there is no end in sight
A thought comes to mind, but I've forgotten it
As night falls it seems to all come together
I lay down to rest, eyes heavy from time

The cycle repeats and I am lost again
Lost in everyday life

Repetition sucks
LOL

K

7 Weeks in, 6 Out

Current Temperature: 42 degrees F.
Local Time: 9:56pm

State of Mind: Well I have sensitive readers so I will skip that part.

The only thing right now keeping me from going insane is my favorite local programs back in the States. Prayer can on do so much for your mental state and it isn't actually what you call entertaining. Not that I expect it to, but I will carry on with prayer till my last breath. None the less that still does nothing for my current state of stir crazy. I am looking forward to playing ball this coming Sunday, but man time seems to go slow when you are waiting for something. Well all I can do is wait.

J (the second brother to show up) has been to the green zone more times than I can count and he has been here for only a month. He has also made several trips north just 17 kilometers short of the IRAN border. Just yesterday he returned from his last trip and informed us of what he saw. He was at a check-point waiting to go thru when a wedding party just in front of them started shooting. You know like in the old traditions of the Wild West. Not uncommon to do for celebratory reasons, but not exactly a smart choice given the circumstances, and current locale. Well the check point was one of the NEW IRAQ ARMY and rather than wait to see what the situation was they shot on the wedding party. Well the wedding party started to shoot back for fear of their own lives.

The whole time J is right behind them, but it wasn't long before our security force took action (and that is to get the heck out of the way). They pulled into on-coming traffic and let loose the gas flow. J said he looked back and saw the wedding party just lying there most likely dead. From what I am told there wasn't any direct fire on them, but can you imagine the sight of seeing someone die just because they were celebrating. I did a search online and couldn't find any details of the story, I wouldn't doubt if it went unreported. This is the New Wild West incarnate and anything at any time can happen.

I saw a woman in full business dress attire a few weeks back with a shoulder holster and what looked like a Nine mil Beretta. I mean dress shoes long skirt, and tacky blouse to match. Just the other day when we went to get the other brother the manager grabbed his gun and handed it to me while he drove. I might be inclined to write a book when I leave here even though my time her thus far has been relatively safe and boring. But that is a good thing and in no way a complaint. If watching someone get shot, or participating in a gunfight is exciting I can just wait for the movie, or the game. Either way I wish not to see the excitement first hand that has been spoken of.

May the Almighty Protect those that Seek HIM.

K3

Tomorrow....

We have been getting new people in weekly now, and are doubling up in the rooms now, I am fortunate enough not to have to share my domicile, but I don't think any one would want to any way. We are suppose to be moving to a new site on the base that is 3 times larger than our current location. But there are several problems, that are slowing this process down. For one the site is just a dirt pile no concrete no facilities (wash room and what not) and then that leave us with our already pressing transportation problem. We have about 7 cars for the entire group which is now up to about 25. Not everyone wants to go eat at the same place, or go to the PX at the same time and if we happen to slit our force to two different location then we will also be reducing our automotive capacity.

This place isn't planned at all its just thrown together and the next manager comes in and says: "here's the glue from the states lets make it work. Oh by the way I only have a handful of glue so we are gonna have to stretch it out and make it last a few months". Now how in the world does this concern me you might ask, it doesn't. I could care less, because I am trying to rebuild my home not IRAQ. I love the thought that I am here with a greater purpose than to make money, but what it all boils down to is I'm here to make money. I will no longer delude myself into thinking otherwise, no matter how much good I think I might be doing the greater good here is for me. Interesting once you stop misleading yourself and realize the truth for what it is.

THE TRUTH

K to the P
signing off

Boy I'm Outta Shape

Well I found a place to play ball, but they only play on Sundays at around 2pm. So I went up and played a few games and didn't do so bad, but boy was I in pain afterward. A combination of many things that I wont get into, but none the less I had a good time and plan on being there at 1:30 this coming Sunday.

Other than that its been real slow and boring and impulse buying is starting to nag at me. A lot of the guys here buy stuff for no reason and I couldn't understand why. I mean I have ALOT of things I want, but nothing here really takes my fancy too much. But now I'm starting to see why and how it happens. You sit here with nothing to do, but work eat and shop at the PX, for the most part. And now they have made these PXs like Walmart stores. And everyone here knows what happens when you go into a Walmart. But I was able to stay my purchase hunger THIS TIME.

I found a real good spot for some pictures tomorrow I will post them as soon as I get them.

Love ya

PEACE
K-Dub

Then There Was Three......

That's right the third Broham (for MCI) of many has made it to Baghdad. He is an older cat, but it doesn't matter we need as many brothers as we can get in here. He seems a interesting enough, he said he has been traveling the world for 26 years. I look forward to working with him cause new blood makes it easier to deal with the old blood. Other than that all is well in Baghdad. Man it amazes me still when I say that.

Love
K3

Going Crazy....!!!

I could never live in a Co-Op. I don't like other peoples habits and I am often reminded of my own as being problematic. And that is fine if you can pick up a dish and move on, but that isn't the case here. I spend more time with some of these people than most men spend with their wives (now me personally I like spending time with my wife). Now I know that I can sometimes, for lack of a better word, make a complaint about most things under the sun. But being here has made me appreciate so much that I wake up every morning thanking GOD for every lil thing I can think of. Humidity, now living in Texas and Illinois who would have thought that humidity is something I would thank GOD for, but now I do. Now I have never complained about bathes and showers I love water sports, but believe it or not I appreciate them even more.

Most importantly my Wife

Now when ever I dated I always looked for things to be done a certain way to my liking, and mostly this comes from your mother or if you are a woman your father. So anyway the bar was pretty high to say the least and I have come to appreciate the fact that I can have something done the way I like, and probably even better than I like, with little input from myself. This isn't the only thing that I appreciate about my lovely wife, but it is one worth mentioning.

I only suggest to the people back home to stop waiting till you don't have something to appreciate it. When you get in your car to go to work just say to yourself "Man I love the fact that I can drive to work", or even "Man it feels good to have a job...!!" Now I know I have always been a thankful person regardless to what it is, but I have only begun to understand the value of appreciation. And so I will close saying this, there is nothing in this world that I appreciate more than one I can always look to and smile. You are my inspiration, my motivation, and most importantly my appreciation. You are my better half and that is a literal statement. I love you E more than you will ever know. (post phone convo)

Love Always,
K to tha D to tha U to tha B

Baby Baby
LOL

P.S. I hate Flies..............Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Clean Cut Just for You Baby (Mrs. Dubs)

Not Bad for a self portrait if I do say so myself. My lovely wife has already commented of the fact that my nose looks big from that angle... Thanks Hun...

Me as of Yesterday

Now Isn't This Funny...

Now isn't this something that you would expect to see in a Comedy or something. Well anyway I thought you could use a good picture and less words. K3

Stay Off The Grass

Not to much going on

Well the past couple of days hasn't been all that interesting, nothing worth talking about anyway. Well actually I have been getting to know the guy who got me the job her a little better. A very interesting man to say the least. I have to thank my old manager for the plug, because if not for her I wouldn't be employed at the moment, at least not here. Now as far as my Supervisor RSM (Regiment Sergeant Major his title when he was in the British forces) he is a very interesting guy. I enjoy working for him a great deal and feel he respects the knowledge that I have in our field. The funny thing is I asked him if my old boos had given him any other names and he said no that I was the only one. And whe he called to ask her that she didn't have to think about it that my name came to her immediately. I have to admit that I was in a way honored and a lil worried. But RSM told me that I was hired before he even talked to me that my old Bosses recommendation alone was all that I needed. CheeseCake Factory just doesn't seem like thanks enough for what she has done for me. At any rate that pretty much sums it up for me for this evening hopefully I will have something more interesting to talk about tomorrow. Sleep well family.

Love Always,
KP

New Month New Shift

Well after nearly a month of Nights I am on nights, but just not late night. I start at 4pm now and get off at midnight. So Im sitting here right now rlaxed as all can be bout to lay it down for the evening (morning) and get ready for the new day. Ahhhhhhhhhh

Outcome Better than Expected

Well I would have actually suggested that you watch the news yesterday, because it was actually a good sight for once. They had cameras all over the country at the polls to see the reaction of the people. I will admit to you that this past November was the first time I have ever voted. And basically the only true answer I can give is I never thought that my vote really counted. But what I have come to realize (with help from none other than Mrs. Dubs) is that as an African American the fight for the right to vote was so much that on that premise alone I should vote. There were other factors of course that helped sway me, but most of it was the Mrs. Afterward I had a genuine good feeling about what I did regardless of the outcome. I was proud of my right to vote and that I was able to without a battle or baton. So with the history of a people on my shoulders and the fate of the world in my hands (not really) I will not falter again. So when our Iraqi counterparts said they weren't going to vote I was upset. Because it isn't as if they fought for the right as many Americans have over the centuries. We picked the battle for them and at present are policing there country for them. Now I'm not agreeing that we went about this the right way, but unfortunately we are here now and to leave would bring this country to civil war. So do not take voting lightly and make sure you take the time to do so. I'm not saying to vote for everything under the sun, but at the very least every four years 1 day out of your time.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but at any rate it was a joy to see Iraqi people happy about the vote on yesterday and rejoicing in the streets. And I do commend the Armed forces for the efforts in securing their safety so that they would have the chance to vote without the fear of death. See one of the smartest things that they did ,since I have been here anyway, was impose a vehicle restriction in the areas of voting. Well that put a big damper in the insurgents plans and as a result the voting polls were filled and people were safe. Geraldo even brought his tired butt out and did some real reporting for once. But hey not everyone is all bad all the time right....


Remember Voting is a Honor and a privilege
and isn't something that should be taken lightly

One
K-Dub