Again and Again...

Yet again another update…

So Dhaie returned from R&R last night he is the other manager with MCI that is a native born Iraqi, but moved to Switzerland years ago. Well earlier that evening before Dhaie made it back I asked Ray for the reason for my termination and the performance review, that was done a few months back, he told me that the reason would be discussed on the 6th in Richardson where a meeting is to be held to address my concerns as well as explain my termination. He then said as far as the performance review goes Dhaie has it and I could get it from him once he arrived. So when I saw Dhaie I asked him about it and he said that he gave it to Ray and Curt and he no longer has it. Yet again another example of the poor leadership and managing skills or Mr. Ray and his continuing effort to push things off on everyone else clearing himself of any wrong or reliability. As of 10:30am I still do not have the performance review and Dhaie has been to my room 4 times already…!

James (the last brother) told me yesterday that I was supposed to leave the camp, and another guy was going to square me away lodging. What I thought he meant was I was going to the other camp away from the “Sensitive Equipment”, but actually later I found out about them moving me to temporary housing. So after my wake up this morning I made a few calls informing those that I called of the new information about my deportation. Well shortly after 9am this morning Dhaie the other manager that just recently returned from R & R as of last night told me that Ray informed me that I had 24 hours to leave the premises. I told Dhaie that Ray said no such thing to me whatsoever and that would be impossible considering the fact that I have a lot of stuff to pack. Dhaie said well Ray told me he told you, and I again told him he said no such thing to me. He asked me to give him a time that I would be done and then asked if I needed any help he could get a couple of guys over here. He started to explain that it was a “NEW POLICY” with the State Department that when someone is terminated they only have 24 hours to pack and they have to leave do to security issues. He said if it was up to him he didn’t care if I stayed till y flight leaves on Monday, but that it was out of his hands. I asked him when did this policy take effect and he said he didn’t know he was just informed about it 15 minutes ago. I told him I would be ok and I should be done some time this afternoon and he said ok and left. He left and came back 45 minutes or so and said “Ray said that he told James to tell me” (the other brother). I told him yes he did and that it would be impossible because I would not be down with my packing. Dhaie said that Ray wanted me finished by 2 this afternoon and he wasn’t going to give me any more time than that and if I needed help that it would be supplied. So now I have a little under 3 and ½ hours to get all my stuff packed and them I will be deported to the base to await exile from Iraq.

The more he does the better I feel about my chances of having a good case against MCI for discrimination and unsafe work practices. I find it utterly amazing how this new rule just seemed to go into effect the day I was terminated, yet no mention of it has been conveyed to us via email of in the one of the daily meeting we have. I am curious to know if this is actually etched in stone or just another ploy to get me out of here. Whatever the case may be only when it has been a minority have they been so quick to remove us from the country. When I think back to all those that were released and quit, not one of the Caucasians released from work was asked to leave the camp, nor was it a requirement that depart the country immediately. So with that being said one can only assume that no matter when this sp called policy took effect its implementation began with me, but seems all too common with past minority departures…!!

Very interesting if you ask me...

K

And It Just Gets Better...

!!UPDATED!!

So Ray the wonderful manager has yet again given instructions to me via third party... Now I have seen several people leave this place and never has there been anyone to leave so quickly than Jason. The other brother that wasn’t too bright as far as his course of action toward the work environment. Well they sent him home on the drop of the dime do not pass go straight to the plane and leave...!! Well now after that we have had several people threaten of managers and even get into physical brawls with one and no actions were taken against them. Well the intel I received was that Ray asked another employee to find out about temporary housing on post away from the MCI complex. Simply put a tent and a cot for this Blackman and right away. Now considering that NONE of my Caucasian counterparts were asked to do the same thing why is it asked for me...? One person would drink an entire bottle of Jim Beam every night while having at the very least a dozen loaded weapons in his hooch. Not to mention grenades, mortars, and quite possibly a land mind or two, I wasn’t going to snoop around to find out… Now if that isn’t personal and discriminatory then I do not know what is... Well I have a lot of stuff to pack and I am no where near being done so I guess his little deportation will have to wait…!!!

THE UPDATE...!!

OMG and it keeps on... So now I get a wake up at 8am with 2 guys that are supposed to help me pack my stuff. LOL

Again not something and one has ever had happen in my entire time here, so yet again the discrimination continues even AFTER I have been let go... MAN if something good doesn't come about I will be very surprised... BTW if anyone just so happens to have any connections with media personnel and somehow they happened to find a certain website I wouldn't mind at all. Something I may look into myself, hum...

I will update regularly now while the idiocy continues...!!

K

And so it Ends...

Talk about a ripple effect....!!!

How ironic that one week after I send my email my services are no longer needed with MCI...

That right I have been terminated for standing up for myself and for what I believed to be a more important concern other than my employment. Although everyone that reads this web journal is probably pleased and although I assumed this was going to happen and even though I was fed up with being here under these circumstances, this was not the way I wanted it to play out. When it rains it pours and that is a fact.

Well I plan on fighting this tooth and nail this is not over for me and if they want my termination it will cost them… The media will be next to know what is going on over here, I mean if a guy can shoot himself in the foot and get rehired I sure in the heck better get what I deserve….!!!

The Response...

OK so as you know I haven’t been on the best speaking terms with my manager and my email did have a ripple effect. So my managers boss emailed me on Monday and I about laughed my head off, this was the title of the email.

PERSONAL - PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

Now I don’t know about you, but I think this is kinda contradictory, but that’s just me. If something is Personal then I can do with it as I please right or does it have to be private, well anyway it’s a load of mess. I don’t expect anything to come out of it just like nothing has come out of anything here since I have arrived. Well that isn’t totally true he won’t be making anymore empty threats in regards to my employment as long as I am here that’s for sure.

MCI and eKohs takes your concerns very seriously and will jointly with the assistance of MCI’s human resources department investigate your concerns and statements.

Now that doesn’t really make me feel better, and the reason is because the only time I have had a cordial conversation with Curt was when the other brother got fired for showing his butt, that was in February/March.

Someone will contact you very soon to set up a time we can meet with you.

That must be figuratively speaking, because I know they aren’t going to send a human resources person to Iraq just for one brother’s accusations and we do not have one on hand at the moment. See I know all they are doing is pacifying me and I am fine with that, because that is all I am doing as well. I sent that email to secure my employment till I said I was ready to go not someone else and definitely not someone with a personal grudge against me. I am the master of my destiny (well me and GOD) and no one will take from me so long as I have a mind of my own and a mouth to back it up. See I just love it when someone thinks they are better than you or smarter than you, because they get sloppy and lazy and let their guard down and that is when you show then (Pardon me for saying so) I am not just another dumb nigga….!!!

As I read your memo, many things seem to run together. In an effort to save everyone's time and to thoroughly understand every detail, please be prepared to expand on each statement so we fully understand the issues.

I will say this much, although my email was fueled mostly in part by emotion, there is no way in this world or the next that I wasn’t clear about the problems we face (and with my Auntie Ka Ka's help it will soon be unmistakably clear). Now I understand that they may want further details and something a little more specific, but please do not tell me you don’t get the gist of what I am saying… now this isn’t the first, nor will it be the last, time I have been treated like black idiot, and I am not saying that his motives are racial in any way, prejudice and condescending yes but not racial he isn’t that smart…


To the dumb black folk everywhere that put up with peoples mess…

One

K

Home Again...

OK I know I have been out of pocket for some time, well 8 days to be exact, but all is well and I am once again safe and sound back at BIAP (Baghdad International AirPort). I was away on a mission and as you know from the last time I try to keep it quiet till I get back, not just for the sake of my family, because I generally don't have a lot of good things to talk about, but also for my safety and those I was traveling with. Things are really getting out of hand out here and I am really trying hard not to let it get to me, but it is hard to do, I mean I am only human. I had seriously thought about staying until March or April of next year, but I am beginning to think that they may be pushing it a bit. Lord knows that I thank him everyday for what he has done in my life and the many, many blessing he has bestowed upon me. I am forever grateful for the experience and the chance to enrich my life and I am constantly thinking to myself "how in the world can I ever repay him...?"

I CAN'T...

What he has given me in my short thirty years is more than I could pay back in 100 lifetimes. I will never in a million years ever say anything other than I am blessed to be alive right now. Death, destruction and mayhem is all around me and though it all I still live. It reminds me of a time when I loss my uncle (my stepmothers brother) and he was only 19 at the time. I had nothing going for me I had no job, I wasn’t a bad kid (and yes I was a kid at 19) but I had made some stupid decisions and it cost me. Well he had a good job going for him and had three children and everybody loved him. Well he was on the wrong side of the law as well, only he was on the side that got you killed, and despite my many warnings to my father they never manifested themselves until he was arrested for having a shotgun in his trunk. Two years later he is gunned down in front of his girlfriend’s house. I can remember sitting on the back pew of the church and asking GOD why did he let that happen to him when there were so many that relied on him. There were going to be three more fatherless children in a world where one is too many. Why when he was doing something with his life did he have to die, why not me...!!!



It took a while, but I finally got my answer....

I have things that need to be done and although I am not the father of children now I will be one day... There has been a few other times where I have thought GOD had forsaken me and I am sure many have, but once I realized that he is not to blame for my own mistakes I really had no one else to blame. So I sucked it up, became a man and took my mistakes for what they really were, a life lesson.

As a boy growing up you look up to the men in your life and say to yourself I cant wait to be just like them, but what you soon find out is being a man is not only hard work, but you never fully stop becoming a man. At almost thirty I am more man than I was last year, and 10 times the man I thought I was. Age has nothing to do with being a man and if most boys knew that it take a lot of life lessons and many more years that just 18 to be a respectable man. Like I said a few weeks ago, "The more I know, the more I realize the less I know..." Like I can remember when my aunt's and my Grams told me to note everything I do, cause you never know when you are going to need it. How true they are and although I haven’t done it in the most conventional way as my aunt's Ka Ka and Cine would have liked, the internet is an amazing thing. My Website has been a logbook for all the things that have been going on with me, personally, work related and just everyday life. Because of this wonderful tool I have a leg to stand on if I ever need to fall back on it in response to the last post I made.

Thank you for helping me to become the man I am... Each and everyone of you that played your part the list is long so I wont go into details, but you know who you are and just as I have a debt to GOD, I also carry with it my debt to you...


Love is a powerful thing....

I am so glad I have that power within me...

K

OK I AM FED UP....!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK I am tired as hell of talking about my idiot manager, so I email him his bosses as well as a few co-workers that share the same views as me. I will no longer keep my mouth shut while this dumb blankty blank (for my sensitive readers) risks my, and my co-workers lives. So read my frustration and be looking for me soon if this doesnt go the way it should...

Leave it to the fates of those in charge and this will die soon, if justice has it's part then I will still be here for a while longer anyway and he will be on the way out...

Love to all

K

To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to my attention that my welfare is not in consideration under our current management staff, more specifically Ray Litchfield. Since my arrival here whenever I have voiced my opinion or concerns I have been threatened to be removed from my position several times. In my first 2 weeks in Iraq I was threatened at least 3-4 times, because of a difference of opinion. Since then I choose not to relay my concerns any longer, because they fell on deaf ears. Since that time I was given a less than perfect review, but more specifically an issue was brought up that I do not voice my concerns or issues to management (I wonder why). We are constantly reminded that we are in a warzone, but Ray Litchfield felt it was necessary to make jokes that I felt inappropriate especially since we just had one of our workers return from an IED attack where he witnessed 3 people die instantly and one later due to wounds from the blast. Not only did I find this joke distasteful, but also inappropriate since it was during our company meeting. I have constantly come under discrimination on several occasions and definitely feel that Ray is harboring some ill will toward me and I have documented every occasion where this has been the case. I was once asked if I felt there was decisions racially motivated and my reply was no, but that pertained to a specific situation, and since then my view has seriously changed.

I also have a concern for his decision making as far as jobs that are to be completed. I was sent to Habbanayiah with the understanding as well as words from his mouth that I was coming to replace the APG’s. He stated that he sent me an email stating this information as well, but when I received the email he gave specifics on replacing satellite equipment which I am neither trainer nor familiar with the equipment. I also was sent an email detailing my travel arrangements and was told that I needed to travel to Washington (IZ landing pad) in order to catch that flight. I myself not my manager in charge of the mission’s here in Iraq arranged my travel, not only that upon getting to the IZ I thought it important to see if adequate room and board was set aside for us as well. When I contacted our point of contact, he was not aware that we were coming and no arrangements had been made for us. I then spoke with our POC and he phoned ahead and secured our bedding. Ironically our POC was in Baghdad and just so happen he was flying back to Habbanayiah as well on the same flight. This was convenient for us since he was also the base commander. I was instructed to also bring a test phone in order to trouble shoot some current issues with the service in the area, Ray was informed that the test phone was being housed by management after arriving in Habbanayiah I was asked if I had the rest phone and I told him no, and he asked why not which ironically is the same question I had for him. Since the phones have been secured by management I was under the impression that he would get the phone for me, but he was under the impression that I was going to search his office or his counterparts room in search of something that I wasn’t, nor anyone else for that matter, sure where to look.

After completion of my assignment here I was given yet another task to perform, which was relayed to me not by my manager, but by my co-worker in Baghdad. I am not clear why it is difficult for someone to tell the person that he wants the work to be done rather than tell someone to tell them. This has been a constant issue that has reoccurred over and again during my entire time in Iraq. After working many hours with my support personnel in Richardson during his nighttime hours, we completed the task that I was sent to do. When I called to give Ray an update he then asked my about another piece of satellite equipment that yet again I am not familiar with or trained on. I informed of the status and he asked why it wasn’t working. I reminded him that I was what HE said I was here to do and he said well you were supposed to work on the other equipment as well. I asked how was I supposed to know that if he, The Manager, did not tell me this. His answer was simply that my support person was supposed to tell me. I stated that he is not the manager and it wasn’t his job, that if there is something that Ray wanted done that he needs to tell me specifically and not leave it up to someone else that has spent the entire night helping fix another problem not associated with the task I was sent here to fix. He said I sent you up there to fix everything that is not working, not just the APG’s, which I might add is up and fully operational mainly in part to my support personnel in Richardson (MANY Thanks to you), despite the fact that I am not trained on the equipment not familiar with it, and not a certified technician of such equipment. Not to mention the fact that Ray also sent the satellite technician to another location to install APG’s, which yet again that person is not at all familiar with such equipment. After voicing my concerns that it is HIS duty to tell me what I am and what I am not supposed to do not my support personnel, he gave yet again another idle threat, that If I didn’t like it he would secure my travel home yet again reasserting my belief of a person issue, and discriminatory attitude toward me. If I am going to be sent home for voicing my earnest feeling and concerns then so-be-it, however my work performance is not in question. I have never refused task before me, and I have always completed them as well despite the lack of preparation and information from the operations side of things.

I have no problem trying my best at no matter what it is I do, however I do not care for someone that is so blind to the obvious, and doesn’t care who he sends to do a job so far as it gets done to his liking, via being informed by a third party to do such work. I am not alone in my feelings toward our current manager Ray Litchfield, but I will be the first to voice my concern aloud. I am no longer capable of holding my tongue while someone makes decisions with my life and the lives of my coworkers with no regard for our lives. I respect a manger that leads by example not one that leads with his mouth. I also have the greatest respect for someone that is willing to accept blame for the problems in our camp rather than blaming everyone else and clearing himself of any wrong doing. I am requesting that this matter be looked into, before it becomes a bigger issue or worse yet before someone loses their life…

Humbly yours,
Kenley Royce Wade

All Is Well

I will be out of contact for a few days, but don't worry all is well. Now when I say all is well I mean that and do not send me emails asking me if I am ok. There will be times when communication will not be 100%, but that doesn't me we have been overran or that something blew up. It just means that I am somewhere that I can not make or receive calls and in most cases will not have access to internet. This just so happens to be one of those times. I will keep you updated on my progress when I can, but in the mean time just know that I am well and constantly thinking of you, my family and friends. My most precious commodity is the love I share and all though I am far from sight and almost half a day ahead, my love is constant and is just as strong here as it is if I were sitting next to you.

One Life to Live, One Love to Give...

Always

K

A Moment of Silence

Today has been a sad day for the people of Iraq. Today and for the past few days there has been several attacks all throughout Baghdad. Several attacks on PSD teams (Private Security Details) on the main highway coming from and going to downtown Baghdad. Today was no different, well actually it was the attacks were more intense and a lot deadlier. A suicide bomber went to a heavily populated area were the Local people come in search of work. reminiscent of the ones we have back home especially construction, landscaping, and field work or farm hands. Well the insurgent came to this location in a van and called out to the people stating he needed workers and once they were near he ignited the bomb killing 106 souls and wounding twice as many. The Iraqi people have suffered so much under the tyranny and even after he is gone they die by the thousands. I agree that terrorism must at all cost be destroyed from the face of the earth, but I do not agree with the tactics currently in place. At any rate so for today I am going to turn off the comments as a sign of respect, kind of like a moment of silence like the title suggest. I am in good spirits and doing fine, I love you all and thank you so much for your continued support despite your desires for me not to be here...

Humbly yours,

K

GOD Bless

Working Out Is Hard To Do....

You know it is actually quite funny, some times I will not write something, because I haven’t come up with the appropriate title that fits the topic of the day. This has been the case for that past few days, because I have had more than enough to talk about as you will soon find out.

Me and one of the guys from our security team (Marty) have become good friends over our time here together. We have similar interest, but more importantly we both like to play basketball. Well I have been struggling to get a routine down as far as getting back in shape, and Marty is an Marine reservist and has been working out for the past couple of months. Well he has been edging me on to go with him so we could work out together since our mutual friend (Patty), and his workout partner, is no longer here with us here in Iraq. He was fortunate enough to get a good job back home and is doing well from last I heard from him.

So I took him up on his offer this past Friday and have been getting my butt kicked ever since. He has this 5 day work out plan that isn’t for the faint of heart, but I can already feel a difference only after 3 days. The first day was back, and something else, and although I was drained by the time we left I wasn’t too sore the next day. Day 2 was arms and abs and that was another story all together. I am still aching after all most 36 hours and in some cases can’t fully stretch out like I would like, or like I was able to just a day earlier. After all the lifting we did we finished it off with 150 squats. So today was day three (legs and lower back) and he warned me that it would be a tough one. Well after the first exercise I was drained and didn’t think I would be able to finish the rest of the workout, but I pressed on none the less. Well I made it thru the next exercise and got to the third one and began to get queasy. Now he kept telling me that it was weakness coming out of me and urged me to push on, and then he told me to do 2 sets rather than 3. I wasn’t going to cheat myself out of a good workout so I decided to finish the 3rd set. Well half way into the last set I started to feel worse and wasn’t able to hold it down any further. Suffice to say I was embarrassed, but I wasn’t gonna go out like that. Fortunately I brought an extra shirt, so I went to the car got it and continued my routine.

After that I was more motivated than ever, so I pressed on full speed as hard as I could and finished everything that was put in front of me. My legs were mush by the time we left and I was having a hard time walking. My legs were dead and I was feeling the pain that’s for sure. This workout is probably the best thing I have done since I have been here in Iraq. I feel so much better only after a few days and the results that will soon follow will definitely put me in a better mood as well. By the time I come home I will have my new winter coat and a sunnier disposition to go along with it… haha

Love to All
All to Love

K

The Ugly, Big Ole Spider

Big Ole Spider


I finally got around to posting this creature that was trying to get free rent from me. As you can see he is not something you would want hanging around your door jam. I will have you know that this one is actually small compared to how big they can get, from what I have read. This is a common spider here in Iraq and although they aren’t large in numbers, well do I think you get my point. Winter here is right around the corner and I am actually looking forward to it. The cool air, the star filled skies with UAV’s watching over us. Another interesting moment to look forward to in Baghdad.

Love

K

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...

Once again excuse me for my movie reference, but it is a good title and relevant to my situation. Well you may be wondering what is good about my situation and we can get to that later. The bad is the continuous misrepresentation of our current management team or at this moment just one manager. We have had constant intel that the insurgents are gearing up for attacks in secure areas. They have supposedly started a new travel policy that will reduce traffic in the area. It's a simple odds and evens, on odd number days only cars with license plates that end with an odd number are allowed on the roads, and on even day's even number license plates. This is actually a very good idea, but the only problem is this could potentially result in a lot more death trying to implement this idea. The Iraqi police would be the enforcers of this new rule/law, and if I am correct this would result in a great number of losses and potentially a lot of people quitting the police force.

The ugly would be the 3 inch spider that was in my room that I had to kill. Yes the infamous camel spider made its way into my room the other day (pictures to follow). This spider from hat I have read can grow up to 12 inches long and travel up to 10mph. Please don't be mad at me, but I would rather take a bullet than suffer the wrath of this thing. I wasn't able to find out a lot about it, but I wasn't going to find out by volunteering myself as a test dummy. I just hopwasn'twasnt the runt in the family, because I then I would have some problems... Sufficed to say I didn't sleep all that well that night...

The good would be everything I have learned, the people I have met and the countries I have seen because of my journeys. If I had not taken this job, I would have possibly never traveled to Dubai U.A.E., Amman Jordan, Amsterdam Netherlands, London England, Kuwait Kuwait, and Baghdad Iraq. Not to mention the other countries I will see before I leave. Now I haven't spent any lengthy about of time in any of these places like I would have liked to, but in my eyes that just makes coming back that much more interesting. I have learned a lot about myself and what I believe in, which I was middle of the road so to speak before my travels began. Most importantly is the amazing support I have received and continue to receive from family, friends and loved ones. BTW ma, I expect something from you within three weeks no ands ifs or buts about it.

Love Always my peeps...

K3

Junior, Isn't He Cute...

Junior

Rather than give you more grim updates from Baghdad I decided to bring a little happiness to my blog. Although it isn't my intention I believe I have posted a lot of negativity on my website. Unfortunately there is more grim than good in this country, but we can talk about that later. This is Junior and although I don't see any resemblance the guys at the camp said otherwise. Part of our security detail is from Nepal and they don’t wear their shoes in their room. Well the story is that lil K likes to go around at 6 in the morning snatching shoes from outside people’s doors. I don't get the benefit of seeing this, but it brings a smile to my face none the less. It's really funny how a pup can brighten up your day with his playful banter and shenanigans. Not a care in the world other than getting a little workout while someone chases you around, because you wanted something to play with.

Laughable...

K

Shooting Star...

As I have mentioned on several occasions I have love for the stars. Well last night for the first time in my life I can actually say I have seen a shooting star. I was a little surprised at first and wasn’t sure if I was dreaming it up, but then I saw another one plain as day this evening. Of course I made my wishes like a kid making a wish when they a tooth and tuck it under their pillow. At first I wasn’t too sure what to wish about, but then I have never been about wishing I pretty much stick to hope and prayer. At this point in my life the only thing I can really wish for is a long life and a chance to make it out of here unscathed. As many of you already know things have been getting a little out of control here and the end is no where in sight. We had some incoming this morning and this afternoon and the frequency is becoming greater again like it was when I first got here. It still isn’t as bad my first few months, but that isn’t to say that it won’t.

I can remember when this war began and where I was and what I was doing at the time. I was in Chicago working for EXI doing a job for Cingular. I can remember talking to people about what was going on and I can recall saying there is no way on GOD’s green Earth that Bush would go to war unprovoked. Not only that, but also without the support of the United Nations he couldn’t possibly be that stupid. Boy was I wrong… He was that stupid and he is that stupid. No one can deny that Saddam was an evil man and that he needed to be taken care of, but why wasn’t it done 10 years earlier? Why after a decade are we picking up the pieces where Bush Sr. left off? The funny thing is I didn’t mean to get on this subject it just happens it is where the writing took me. At times I will write about a subject that is on my mind and some times I have nothing to say and I have to force myself to write something, and then there are times like now where all I have is a thought (shooting star) and it turns into a 2 page biography.

I am not here to support Bush; I am not even here to support a regime change. Although I believe in the good of helping those less fortunate than myself I am not here for the sake of the Iraqi people. Doing this something for this country was never a factor when making a decision. I did it initially to support my family and myself among other reasons. One of those reasons was to support MY military not because they are our military, but because they are our brothers and sisters, mothers and daughters, fathers and sons. Since then it has evolved to something more. I support my country and not those fat, tie wearing, increase our income because we feel like it, but the common folks such as my family and the many other family’s just like mine and especially for those that have family over here. Today was supposed to be a special day, like my father before me, but it isn’t. So far as of August 31st 2005 there has been 1,879 Americans military deaths. Not only that, but most of the deaths have been young men in their twenties. Of those 1879 deaths only 140 are from the “actual” war on Iraq. This leaves 1479 lives claimed from May 1st 2003 till today. Contractor deaths from the same time period are anywhere from 250-270, with 41 deaths as of march of this year. That is of 25-35,000 contractors working in Iraq at this time. Although these numbers are increasing and in no way pleasant the death toll on Iraqi civilians is even higher. There has been an estimated 24,495-27,705 civilian deaths during this same time period.

These numbers may seem frightening and I know everyone wants us to come home, but imagine what it would be like if we left now. There wouldn’t be a safe person in all of Iraq. This country would fall into a state of civil war that would make ours look like a family picnic. Mass murder in the streets, beheading on a regular basis, it would be genocide. Since we took the only thing keeping this country together we have no choice to finish the job. I will stay here for as long as I can stand it by choice, because of those that have no choice. I love my family more than my own life, so I can think of no greater sacrifice than to be there for those that can’t be with their family.

One Love

K

Pre- Iraq Pic

Me Before Iraq

This was me about 3 months before I came to Iraq. Before I came over I had gained a few pounds on the last job I worked. When I got laid off in April/May of 2004 I had a lot of time on my hands. I applied for literally hundres of jobs for a month straight and then after that I just kinda gave up. I would still look here and there as per your requirement for unemployment. So I decided to use my time off to get back in shape. I went from 205lbs to 225lbs between September of 2003 and February of 2004. So June I went on a health kick and worked out 5-6 days a week around 4 hours a day. I dropped down to about 193 within 3 months and was in the best shape of my adult life. Suffice to say I am no longer trim and tight like I was a year ago, but I have every pplan to get back there thats for sure...

Me Now With Chubby Cheeks

Me Now..!!

My moms perfers me with a fatter face and more hair on my head. Mothers are so loving arent they to the point where they still want you to look like that chubby little baby they use to raise...

Mom your a sweetheart

I'm still cutting my hair tho...

The cheeks, we will discuss later... LOL

Dag Nabbit I'm Hungry...!

Well due to the very real threat that we have in my current locale in this world and due to the overwhelming response to my last outing I have decided not to go out unless well equipped if you catch my drift. So I have listen to everyone and have not gone out since the last time, but that leaves me hungry for my entire shift. I usually eat lunch at 11:30 and then go to bed some time between 2-4pm. There a meeting at 5:30 that I am suppose to attend so that means waking up to go to this stupid meeting and which can last up to an hour talking about the same thing we just talked about the day before. So then I have the task of TRYING to go back to sleep, because anyone that has worked nights knows that if you don't get enough sleep it makes the day last longer. Not only that, but you find yourself working harder at staying awake than trying to work hard...

So to continue with the story we have an abundance of MRE's and if you have ever had a MRE after a while they begin to taste the same. So tonight I was really hungry, but I didn't want to eat another MRE. Well I didn't eat another, not the meal anyway. I took the crackers and some cheese from one of the packs and had my little snack. Sadly it has lasted me the entire night of my shift. So now all I have to do is wait another 4 hours till lunch time...

Love ya

K

Orion Has Returned...

The dumb managers continue, but I am not going to even start on that.

For those that do not know I have a fondness for the constellation Orions Belt. Well it has been on summer break and I haven't been to happy about that, but just the other day I saw him just before day break. I was happy to see my starlit friend there in the sky. I often think back to days past when I look up to the sky and the stars above. Back when I use to climb on the roof attached to my room and stare up at the stars. I know I'm not that old, but that seems forever ago. I am forever amazed at how simple life was back then. Nothing else mattered except the next game of basketball, or kickball or freeze tag. There weren't any wars or terrorist, or insurgents at least there wasn't on our block and growing up that's all that mattered was your block, your neighborhood, your small little speck on this world.

When did it start getting so complicated...? I can't really remember when the change happened. When the world started to affect me in ways I can't explain. Politics, religion, hate, love, greed, trust, poverty, equality, all apart of the complication of getting older or better yet more mature. Why is it we let these things affect us so much, for some they rule their lives like a drug. I still don't know at 30 (almost) what I want to do with my life which in a sense makes me feel younger, but I don't have the luxury of procrastinating as far as making a decision. When did it matter that you choice a career or a lifestyle that you wanted and why. Hunger must be setting in I better get something to eat... :)

K

My Evening STARe

As I look into the nights sky at the half moon in the darkness above
I wonder what doom is going to befall this land tomorrow
All the gloom in this world can only be conquered by prayers and love
Somewhere a fathers cries out, and a mother’s tears fall in sorrow
I look in the mirror and smile thinking of all the good in my life
My family, my friends, and loved ones and all the memories we’ve shared
I can’t imagine where I would be if it weren’t for the hard times and strife
No telling what kind of man I would have been if I wouldn’t have dared
To be more than they said I would to challenge those that were against me
To rise up again and again, against all odds, opposition on my back
My life has been a book and I share it openly for all the world to see
No matter who or what you are I have thwarted every single attack
I have overcome, I have endured I have survived everything thrown my way
GOD’s sword, my shied, his word has always been there for my protection
My strength has been tested time and again, but to this day I have yet to sway
So much can be seen when I look back upon my reflection
That is me… simply a grain of sand on a never ending beach
I will not falter, that you can believe with your hearts, I am perseverance
Lord knows my life has been a lesson, for other to learn and reach
For that place that seems so far away like in a dream, or trance
All you have to do is believe in what you see when you look in the mirror…

ken \KEN\ noun 1 a : the range of vision b : sight, view *2 : the range of perception, understanding, or knowledge. Means "strong, healthy" in Japanese

An interesting word that I found... Huh I like that...

K-dub

Love and Peace

The Bad Get Worse

Now here I am warning all those back home not to watch the news, because things are "Reportedly" going to get worse, well even though the security manager informed our management that it isn't wise to travel they decide to send a few guys to the field anyway. Now the area they were traveling to is the IZ, or Green Zone whatever they call it nowadays. So at the risk of lives it was more important to get the job done. Now because it is ill advised to travel that is by car, air travel is unaffected by what is going on right now. So with that being said why is it that we send twelve people into danger by highways, when we can send the 4 that have to get the job done by airway safely.

That's the question isn't it...

Did I ever tell you that it was told to me by a fellow co-worker that one of the managers stated that some casualities are considered and expected, and in some cases acceptable...

I am getting very tiresome with these decisions and recklessness or better yet reckless decisions...

Peace be unto me....



K

From Toilets 2 Towers...

Now I don't think I could beat it into anyone any more than I all ready have about the idiots running this place. Well the next story I have to tell will blow you away. I would say the one thing that is most important about having LN's work for an American based company getting paid by OUR tax dollars is that they at least speak and read English. Now under normal circumstances the need for this may not apply, but given that our job is to support the US Armed Forces then I would say it does. Now I do not have any problems with those that work with us, they are just trying to survive the best way they know how, my problem is still with our management. Now I may not fully feel comfortable having so many LN’s and especially on such short notice, but there isn’t much I can do about that.

Not so long ago we had 2 tower guys (that are no longer with us) that were local nationals and they did an ok job from what their American counterparts said. The problem was that neither one was fluent in English which means that a lot of what was instructed to them has to be done by an interpreter. I use to work with interpreters when I worked at AT&T (which seems so long ago). The one thing you have to watch out for is the small subtle differences in the 2 languages. My point of saying that is simply out an instruction can be completely misinterpreted if the one relaying the message isn’t clear himself. The problem here was that both of the tower guys hired not only couldn’t read or write English or even speak it well, but they couldn’t read or write in Arabic either. In case you are wondering Arabic is the language spoken in the Middle East. Still do not have a problem with that, because they were hard workers, but their level of standards would never make it in a commercial environment.

My point of bringing this up wasn’t in any way to do harm to Local Iraqi’s they are only playing the hand they were dealt and doing it admirably on top of that. I brought it up to show the continued idiotic decisions made by those that take our tax dollars and waste it on the good of the company not the good of the country. The sad part of all of this is I haven’t even gotten to my point. Mohammed (Our custodial engineer) is a bright young man about the age of 19. As far as I know he has no father that he speaks of, he is Muslim with a Catholic girlfriend, and has a fixation with physical gratification (layman’s terms that’s sex). Now Mohammed as I have mentioned in the past makes $15 a day which adds up to a wonderful $360 a month bringing his annual salary to just under 5 grand a year. Now this is actually a very good salary for an Iraqi national. Now as far as I have been told the “LN technicians” are getting $40 a day, or just under $13,000 a year. I could be mistaken in the numbers, but I fairly certain that I am not. Well our kind hearted hard working janitor has received a promotion while I was away on break. He is now our local national tower hand, from custodial engineer to telecommunication engineer. Not exactly the kinda of transition you would see in the commercial world, at least not any I have ever worked before now.

I have found it increasingly difficult to continue to deal with this place when there is nothing but donkeys running the show. I swear to ALMIGHTY GOD if there was someone I could talk to I would, because this mess is getting out of control. I worry less about bombs and more about the complete ignorance of our managers and that can have a dangerous affect especially given my location. I am not much of a manager nor have I ever really wanted to be, but as I have said before monkeys could run this place better…

Keep hope alive…

Maybe we will get a chimp for a new manager…

Doubtful they are too smart to come here…

KO