Well I had a moment of weakness and although my situation has not changed the fact that I am back in the good ole USA has put me in a much better mood. Despite the fact I am still running into adversity I am still much better off than I was even yesterday. This will be the first time I have mentioned it, but if you haven’t noticed early on I spoke very highly of the woman in my life, but I make no mention about her nowadays. There are many reasons, but to make a long story short we are in the process of divorce. This has been a long time coming, but I never gave up hope that it would work out; until I realized that it wasn’t what it should have been to begin with. All I can say is we are better off with the decision that I have made as far as dissolving our marriage.
With that being said I want to again thank all of those that have been so very supportive of my journey despite the fact it was against their wishes that I went in the first place. I was talking with the first Generation (me being Kenley the third) yesterday and I mentioned to him how if you read my blog from the beginning to the present you can see how much I have grown as a person. His comment to me was a shock and it a smile to my face, and he simply said: “I don’t have to read anything to see that you have grown as a person, I can see that just in our conversation and how I carry myself today versus how you did before.” He mentioned the fact that he was pleased with how I have grown and I made a joke saying it only took 10 months in Iraq to do it… LOL
Life has a funny way of playing tricks on you and just as soon as you have the game licked you find out you are now three steps behind rather than 2 like you thought before. Now although I am three steps behind I am a much more rational person and the lessons I have learned makes it that much easier to deal with. I remember how I felt when I first got to Iraq and how lonely I was and how I felt so unsupported by my family and my wife. I soon realized that it wasn’t anyone’s place to support me on the decision that I made it was my decision not theirs…! I reached deep into myself and found that strength that I once had not so long ago and was able to endure my time without the help of anyone. I was feeling the same a couple of days ago on my last post as I was in the beginning and the fact that I realized that allowed me to snap back much faster. I did have help from my loved ones and friends as well and that made a big difference as well. I am not saying that the support I received wasn’t helpful to my survival quiet the contrary it was. The emails and comments on my blog and numerous phone calls from aunts and uncles as well as friends, brothers and sisters. My mom started her own blog and although we never really talked about my endeavors she always told me she was proud of the man I became and that helped a lot. Not to mention the dearest friend that I met through my blog as well as hers Theresa. Theresa you have made a big difference and you came in my life at the best of times. As the saying goes GOD doesn’t come when you call, but he is always on time. Simply put when I needed support not when I just wanted it because I was feeling sorry for myself it was there and in abundance.
I am truly sorry that things didn’t work out between me and Miss Newton, but I learned a great many lessons from my unsuccessful marriage. I say that because I do not think it was a failure, I was able to learn a great many things about myself and about being with a woman in that type of relationship. Fortunately it will make me more cognizant of what I am looking for and what I am willing to sacrifice and also will make me a better husband the next time around.
Well folks although the journey hasn’t ended I am home and it’s good to be back…
GOD has smiled at me and I smile back... :)
I love you all
Kenley Royce Wade III
(Don’t have to hide anymore I am home…)
Kenley Means The Kings Meadow in Old English
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4 comments:
You keep getting better and smarter every day!
Glad you're home with the people you Love.
I don't have the words to express how I felt when reading this entry. Life's lessons are hard, but you "hit the nail on the head" when you said that success is when you learn from them. I am glad that you now see that you are successful! Most take a long time to understand true sucess.
As you look a little deeper into the work outcome, you will see your success there as well. You have seen the reality of war and have come to know that you do not want to be a person who looses sight of the value of human life no matter what price you must pay. For that you may be proud and feel a great measure of success. You truly made a sacrifice, taking a stand that cost you financially, most don't have the courage to do. So was the thinking of your manager who thought that threatening to send you home would change you. He thought that money was more dear to you than life itself, that you would be willing to take the risk of your life and the lives of others for the reward of money. But you drew the line and that takes courage. And you were succesful at it, because you did not cower at being sent back to the States because of it.
What a powerful lesson that is to everyone who witnessed it and those who will undoubtely hear of it. Will the majority learn from it? No, since the majority are blinded by greed, self-interest, and/or fear of being different(fear of man). It is much more important to be in fear of God, who gives us life and sustenance each day.
May Jehovah continue to bless you as you grow in knowledge of this world. More importantly, may He bless you with knowledge of His purpose to bring the world back into perfect balance throuh His Son, Jesus Christ for this knowledge, Jesus said, leads to everlasting life--living FOREVER.
"This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God, and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ." (John 17:3)
Glad to know that you are back state side and good to know that you are doing ok. don't forget to call me let me know how your meeting went with the big wigs. Anyway stay true blue honey buns.
Shayla
It is good to hear that you have safely returned to DFW.
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